Fear

For the past several months I’ve been working on the things that hold me, and others, back. How our self talk shows up and sabotages us. How this internal dialogue can be broken down into thematic little voices we all have, and what their purpose in our life has been, and how to work with them to change our lives. While it’s sometimes hard to put a finger on, it all boils down to fear.

Earlier this week I was coaching someone with major health issues. This person had realized that they were lying about their condition to those they love, to their doctors, and even to themselves. Lying was not who they were and it was upsetting and they were having a hard time putting their finger on why they were lying so flagrantly. They knew, it was I part based on fear they would no longer be allowed to drive. However, it didn’t seem to account for all the lies. We worked through a process called Befriend Your Fear. It’s a deeply somatic and introspective process to help find where the fear in being held the body, to identify it, feel it, and ultimately have a discussion with it. My client was able to identify deeper fears around loss of autonomy, their house, their freedom of movement and make agreements with their fear to continue to listen to it, and make decisions without ignoring these complex issues. They immediately felt lighter, more optimistic and resolved to begin working with this fear rather than hiding from it. They felt more in control of their future and the decisions that would come. They were ready to take actions they hadn’t identified as possible before.

This process has been transformative for people who are truly trying to change how they are showing up in the world.

Fear of death, or fear of what leads up to death, can be a major motivator to try to be healthier, be more present, love more fully, contribute to our community more. And it can also be a source of deep fear which holds us back from being honest with ourselves, with those we love, and very importantly, our doctors. Being willing to identify and work with our fears can bring about greater agency, greater intentionality, and a lightness and freedom from our saboteurs.